This is just crazy –
Simply fucking nuts,
That I have to find the words,
The proper consecutive letters of the alphabet,
The one that I know,
To make a feeble attempt
To express the intense feeling
That rushes through my very being.
It is absurd
To think that I need to try
To actually describe what I feel,
What I perceive –
It is ridiculous.
My fingers tap the keys
And my brain shoots electric impulses
That I experience as memories and emotions,
Things that we could never understand,
Not even when they are our own.
Shit, it hurts.
To begin to explain how I feel,
Forced to adhere
To rules of the English language
To express abstract sensations.
This is an impossible feat.
It cannot be done.
But in some strange way,
By putting this nothing into writing,
I have given a glimpse
Into the sheer unfathomable folly
That is being me.
This is either profound or pointless,
I just wrote it,
And you just read it.
You just helped me get rid of something
I can’t even identify.
It is all over, for now.
What a relief –
For both of us, I’m sure.
And you’re welcome.